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Jacob's Club Chocolate Cake Bars - Kcal 98 Fat 5.2g Fat(sats) 2.5g Carbs 11.7g
'Moist sponge cake with a chocolate flavoured cream, covered in smooth chocolate'
"If you like a lot of chocolate on your cake bar" .... then don't buy Jacob's Club Chocolate Cake Bars :D Haha I don't think Jacob's will ever be using that line on any further media communication but it was sadly the reality of the situation.
I bought these cake bars from a OneStop convenience store priced on a £1.00 promotional deal for a pack of ten. I guess you could say the price was pretty much the only thing these had going for them, however retrospectively thinking I would have much rather have spent £1.00 on several other of the round pound deals going on in store. So what was wrong with them!? The outer chocolate was flimsy, thin and poorly flavoured just like the inner sponger and chocolate cream layers. The sponge was especially disappointing with it's light as air texture and relative tastelessness. The chocolate cream took the highly sugary milk flavours of the outer chocolate and failed to do anything with them in a way of taste progression. I would avoid if I were you.
4.6 out of 10
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GU Brownie - Kcal 178 Fat 10.7g Fat(sats) 5.7g Carbs 20.0g (2/3rds of a brownie)
'Chocolate brownie with pecan nuts'
This was always going to be more of a FYI (for your information) post rather than a whole new product review - those of you with long term memories may recall my reviewing GU Brownies back in September (See HERE).
I thought you guys ought to be made aware that these brownies are now available in 60.0g individual packs, this one cost me £1.00 in Sainsbury's. Taste wise this was unsurprisingly exactly as it was all those months ago with the dark chocolate cakey, doughy base nice complimented by the buttery nutty goodness of the inner pecans. What with this brownie being 60.0g in size the whole thing was very rich to eat in the single sitting. This was a feat I didn't quite manage and consumed it by nibbling away at it throughout a working day on my desk. Like I said before, this isn't the best brownie in the world but If you like them it's a decent option as a quick fix.
7.8 out of 10
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McVitie's Temptations Belgian Milk Chocolate Praline - Kcal 50 Fat 2.8g Fat(sats) 1.3g Carbs 5.8g (per biscuit)
'Bite sized biscuits topped with hazelnut and chocolate cream, covered in Belgian milk chocolate'
Working in a busy office environment the turnover of biscuits can reach extraordinary levels and there is always a wide variety on offer in our tea making area. One of the more commonly featuring biscuits these past few weeks have been these new McVitie's Temptations - unsurprising given they are currently being heavily promoted at the magic £1.00 a pack biscuit introductory offer pretty much everywhere.
For the review today I thought I would feature this praline variant as it was the one I was hearing most positive things about. Although I should have probably guessed from the nutritional information and on-pack description, I was really quite surprised at just how small each biscuit was. To me it made no sense packaging them in twos - these alone wouldn't settle the smallest of stomach rumbles. These grumblings about the size are probably more frustrating as they actually taste rather nice. Although the presence of the hazelnut in the chocolate made the chocolate a little slimey and waxy feeling in the mouth, it tasted pleasant and the woody nuty influence of the nuts were complimentary of the sugary cocoa flavours. What with the biscuit being nice and buttery I really couldn't complain about the level of flavour creation despite the small size. I would happily say give them a try if they tickle your fancy.
7.1 out of 10
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The Fabulous Bakin' Boys Coconut Star - Kcal 320 Fat 16.1g Fat(sats) 15.0g Carbs 41.1g
'Star shaped chocolate and coconut flavoured macaroon'
This was one hefty cake I tell you! I'm not too sure of the actual catch-weight of the thing, but to say it felt heavy in hand would be somewhat understating the matter. You may also wish to take note of the saturated fat content stated above - yes indeed those NI values are for just one cake and that is no typo! I'm not one for usually caring too much about these things but at 15.0g of saturated fat for a single cake I wouldn't promote these being a 'one-a-day' snack :D
On to more important matters - the taste. It's a delight for me to report that when I ate this cake alongside a hot chocolate late at night I loved every bite of it. I've had a few hit-and-miss flirtations with the FBB range, but these Coconut Stars get a ChocolateMission thumbs up. The cake base was very dense and perhaps a little on the dry side on the outer crust, however the inner portion was a delightful treat of moist cakey coconut flavours. Despite the chocolate drizzle appearing to be criminally thin, the sheepish looking underside coating was surprisingly forthcoming in with it's unsweetened chocolatey flavours and counter balanced the sweet, sugary coconut inner contents rather splendidly. Coconut treats are few and far between here in the UK - this is a nice option for those that enjoy them.
7.6 out of 10
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66 comments:
Lol it's quite the conincedence you just reviewed those Club cakes. I was eating a normal club just seconds before I landed on the site this morning. I think I better stick with the biscuits if this is what the cakes are like. They don't sound too clever mate.
Jim what is going on? One minute you are saying Bits and Bobs posts are only on Fridays and now you are back posting them on Weds?
With the comments and stuff things are all over the place at the moment. Are you ok? Whats going on?
I used to love the Fabulous baking boys flapjack but now it's all about the Snickers ones. The salty peanuts just go so well with the sweet oaty base. So so yummy.
If you think those brownies are good you should be trying my ones Jim. They are my speciality ;) You would defo give them ten out of ten.
God I really wish I hadn't seen the brownie now. You got my tummy rumbling and it's ages until lunch :( :(
Finally a new set of biscuits that sound half worth trying. The only problem it sounds like you had with those temptation ones was that they were too small. They could soon solve that if they could be bothered. Cracker jack reviews my good chocolate man.
Apparently Jacobs aren't making those cake bars anymore so you can all rest easy that you wont be confronted by a chocolate mission 4/10. Lol boy you have to be seriously bad to be getting a score such as that. You normally pick at least one thing to get peoples scores at a decent level.
How embarassing for them.
Well well welll. Just more average scoring biscuits and cakes then. Do you ever feature anything in these bits and bobs posts that score above a 7? I can't remember the last time I came away reading one of these posts thinking 'I have to try that'. These posts seem to be mostly based around you extinguishing any hopes that any of us had about any new product of any description being worthy of us trying lol. When was the last time you said 'these is new and it's cool, go buy it'.
I know i'm going to get criticised for saying this on a chocolate site but I think the gu carrot cake is nicer than the brownies. eeeeek don't shout at me peeps.
Hmph you still haven't done my Viscount review :( Do you not like me or something.
I must be ten times easier to satisfy than you are Jim.
I've had those club cake bars many a time before and wouldn't ever thought about giving them anything lower than a seven. Lol they aren't anyting special at all but I think they are more than passable.
I've tried two types of those temptation biscuits now and the other white chocolate ones were a lot better than these you got here J. I know you weren't encouraged by these but I would encourage you to still try the others. I feel confident you would think more of them.
Jim what do you do with all the residule cakes? I can't imagine you would eat all the ones in that pack of Club cakes. It would be a right old waste if you simply threw them away. If you ever have any good stuff leftover from your reviews you have a happy home for it right here LMAO.
Hey J
Nice work on the bits and bobs my friend. I think you will be pleasing the masses with this one today. I think the best thing about the bits and bobs posts is that most the things you write about are affordable for us all. That chocolate you wrote about on Monday looked grand but I think someone said it was over £14 which for most isn't a realistic reflection of money we would ever spend on choc. I still like your Hotel chocolate posts don't get me wrong.
In more important matters im so glad fabregas has buggered off to Barca. It was getting so tiresome hearing about it for the last 2 years. Talk about the most drawn out transfer ever. Now all we need to see is Sneijder to go to Man U and all the boring ones will be out the way.
Cheers
N
I can confirm that those club cakes are nasty. When will these brands stop whoreing themselves out to all these different products types that they weren't made for in the first place. Club biscuits are meant to be biscuits dammit. The clues in the name grrrrrrrr
*droooooooooooooooooooooools* mmmmmm that brownie needs to meet my tummy right now.
How the heck are those club cakes still alive lol.
They were crap when they first came out like 5 yrs ago and they look like they are still the same now. There must be some very odd people in this world if they actually have some fans.
Hmmm I don't think I will be going out my way to be buying any of these now. The biscuits and the coconut thingybob look fair enough but the brownie sounds over expensive for what it is, and the cake bar just sounds pants. Thank you for your reviews hun.
Rxxx
1. Club cakes I would try with low expectations
2. GU Brownie I have had b4 and have bought a lot of times now (I like them obvs lol)
3. Temptation biscuits look interesting but I wouldn't want that praline flavour
4. Coconut thing you can keep lol. I don't like coconut
Seeing as you liked the GU brownie I think you should try the GU tiffin cakes Jimbo. They are a little pricely but they are made fresh so they taste a whole lot better than ones you buy in the packets. they usually sell them in the fresh desserts fridge cabinets, take a look next time you go to your superM.
Who do you think is going to win the 4th test vs India Jim? I think anderson being out might be a big factor and we might struggle to bowl them out twice. I would go for a draw me :) Lol will you be tweeting about it this weekend? You did last time.
GU brownies are excellent but its advisable to buy them in the bigger packs in the supermarkets cause you get like 8 brownies for £4 there. Effectivelly half the price of just buying them seperately.
God I hate coconut macaroons. They used to be the only cakes my grandma would give us anytime we went over to her house when she used to babysit us. Bless her soul she was lovely but her choice of cakes left a lot to be desired =]
Dx
This is your most random assortment of things yet I think :) The more random the better I say. Variety is the spice of life.
Bits and bobs posts are always a pleasant surprise :-) I'm already eagerly awaiting whats in store for us Friday.
Bring back the after 8 cakes I say.
Jim the only cake you ever need to buy is Lyles syrup sponge. You would believe how addicted to that stuff I am lol. Its cheap as chips and tastes like a sweet dream. Please review it in next weeks bits and bobs.
I agree with what some peeps are saying about the nuts in the brownie. I'm not allergic to them, just simply don't like nuts. It's a shame they will have ruined these for a lot of people. I know plenty of people who wouldn't buy it just because of the nut content.
If we are being honest none out of four are worthy of anyones time here. You review so many different chocolates that you do recommend it hardly seems a sensible use of time or money buying any of these up in todays B and B. BTW I don't for one minute think that makes your reviews useless whatsoever. It's just as useful hearing from you about things that are disappointing and not worth it. It saves us doing it ourselves.
The Club cakes look and sound 100% identical to the milky way cake bars. It begs the question is there really any point them existing in the first place. I'm not sure which came first, lets just it was the Milky Way :)
p.s. JIm i forgot to put .... how good was that aguero guy for man city the other day. Lol he looked a little special didn't he.
p.s. JIm i forgot to put .... how good was that aguero guy for man city the other day. Lol he looked a little special didn't he.
:O :O :O :O :O That is one amaze photo of that brownie yum yum.
You always score brownies high ;) Are they your fave sort of cakes?
Those Mcvities biscuits arent the cheapest you know. I don't think you will find them going for a pound like you seem to do everything else. When I saw the white chocolate version of them I remember they were more nearer the two pound mark. Relatively speaking that bloody expensive. Especially if we are talking Mcvitie's.
Who hell recommended you try the club cake bars. man if they think those are good they would be blown away by the galaxy ones :) I would love to have expectations that low.
I've never had a fab baking boy cake before. I see their muffins and cakes being sold on the ends of the supermarket aisles all the time but I've not yet ever picked anything of theirs up. I feel like I should at least give them a try now. Is there anything they make in particular you would say buy? I'm looking at their site now and the double choc cupcakes don't sound at all bad.
I find it a bit worrying that i've tried most of these and I don't have the excuse i have a site that I'm doing it for lol.
my scores would be
CC - 4/10 (agree they are horrible)
Coconut Star - 5/10 (I prefer this one made by a company called Crimbles)
GU Brownie - 9/10 (best thing by a mile today, thumbs up from me)
Never easy following HC but some of these are pathetic.
Coconut Macaroons are like my favourite cakes ever, my mum makes them all the time.
I'm not too sure what I would make the mass produced one made by Fabulous baking boys but I'm sure they can't fowl up something as simple as a macaroon too much.
Jim I haven't tried these normal club cake bars you had here but I thought the orange flavoured ones they do were ok. Defo a lot better than 4.6 out of 10 lol.
I to think some details on the prices would be good to have. It's all well and good saying that a GU brownie is nearly twice as good as club cake bar but if one is ten times more expensive that the other surely that has to be expected.
I know it was never your intention but you haven't sold a single one of these to me today. Normally when I read bits and bobs ones i normally find at least one I want to try but not today I'm afraid.
If you were to push me I think I would choose some of those temptation biscuits over everything else but frankly I can see myself going through life without ever trying these ones.
You got to wonder why these companies bother making some of these products at all if they are just making half assed attempts at them. Those cake bars sound atrocious and they aren't alone. I could name you loads of cake bars that are just lazy version of original biscuits or chocolate bars. Cadburys make them all the time.
Excellent photos Jim. The ones of the biscuits give a good idea of what they look like but not necessarily your point about how big/small they are. Next time you have that type of problem could you put something like a coin next to the chocolate. That way we can get a relative sense of how big or small these things are. Just a suggestion.
A great thing you could add to your reviews is how much each ot these would cost. You could put the info just below the calorie information, to me it's just as important as all that.
My ratings for these that I've tried are GU brownie 8/10 and Club cakes 6/10. I know what you are saying about the Club cakes but I think you are being too harsh on them considering they are supposed to be biscuits in the first place.
The GU brownies are nice but last time I bought one I think I ended up paying nearly two pounds for it. Granted it was in central London but still I remember being shocked when I had to hand the money over. Cool reviews as normal Jim.
I'm disappointed hearing the Temptations aren't all that clever. When I heard the names of the biscuits and the sort of flavours they had I thought they had potential to be something different. It would appear that would just be asking too much there.
Gu Brownies are not good. Had them once and was not impressed. Texture isn't great and the taste is a bland. Definitely not chocolatey enough. Probably doesn't help that I'm used to the best brownies in the world (both my own, and Paul A. Young's - amazing, try them!).
Hotel Chocolat rocks my world. I have no problem spending £14 on a product in there, and tend to do so frequently. Which is probably the reason why I never have any money come the last week of the month. Oh well, it's worth it :)
The GU brownies are fantastic, I remember having one on a Virgin Atlantic flight before. Although this one looks bigger...? Was it in the chilled food to go section of Sainsbury's with the sandwiches? I was always tempted to buy one but why do they always stick brownies in the FRIDGE?!!! Arghhh! Being cold totally zaps their flavour. I used to work in the Co-op and I stole theirs all the time, and would leave it at the till in the sun so it went all warm and soft by breaktime :) mmmm.
ps. pretty sure Jacob's are still making the Club cakes because I saw them in Asda yesterday. Coconut is really unhealthy. People think coz it's natural that it must be good for you, but no. That's where all the saturated fat is coming from in this one!
lol the Club Cake Bar is now one of my favorite 'worst chocolate' reviews. Admittedly I'm also gloating cause I can't eat most cake products so it's extra good to know that the photo is the best thing about this one.
I don't like the way they label the nutrition facts for the GU brownie - 1/2 a brownie...sure, but who eats 2/3?
The Saturated fats in the coconut cake are likely in part do to the coconut itself. Saturated fats from coconut oil are largely Medium Chain Triglycerides which actually propose some health benefit - this is by no means a health food product, but not nearly as bad as it seems.
Sorry for the ramble, great round up!
HI All,
Bits and Bobs continues to rack up the feedback week after week. I love how you don't shirt away from expressing your views :D A lot of you are starting to not hold back with your POVs now :D Poor Jacob's they haven't had an easy time today with you lot.
Apologies I can't discussed these further today, I've got the biggest workload ever at the moment. It's all a little depressing.
STEVEN - I will post Bits and Bobs on whatever day chap. I don't think I ever said it would be definitely posted on any day. Some weeks you may not get one at all. It just depends whats going on.
ANON - Viscount request noted (having difficulty finding somewhere that sells them!!)
GOLDEN - Request noted.
KATIE - 99% of what you see in Bits n Bobs is eaten in my workplace. These are things usually bought by myself or my colleagues. They hoover up the things I don't have the greedy gits.
NIGEL - Indeed it was about time Fabregas got out of Arsenal. I don't blame him. Sneijder to United looks a no go now unfortunately.
KEV - Request noted. Tiffin GU.
ANON - I can see that final test against India being a non-event. I will go with England, but thats only because India have just looked woeful so far.
HENRY - Request noted Lyles Syrup sponge.
UMER - I do like brownies but my all time favourite cakes are Millionaire Shortbread! Billionaire Shortbread if you are talking of Heavenly Cakes mind :D
LINZYLOO - It was indeed next to all the sandwiches etc. I like brownies both hot and cold myself. You have to have them one of the two though. None of this room temperature business. Haha I wouldn't go around saying coconut is unhealthy. I know it has a load of saturated fat, but some bright spark will probably pop up with a hundred reasons why it's good for you ... everything in moderation I say.
THEA - Hmmmm put it this way. The CLUB Cake bar isn't one I would recommend ... even if you were really hungry :D
RODZILLA - Haha see what I said to Linzyloo above :D You are our bright spark Roddy :D At least you aknowledged it :D I found it interesting anyway!
Thanks for the comments everyone. Some very interesting input from you guys as ever.
JIM
Sorry if you are getting annoyed by my repetition of this but I seriously think it is worth your while making sure you include one product that you actually recommend in each of these bits and bobs posts.
Its a tad depressing/boring just hearing you say that four different things are average at best and not worth trying. At least if you have one thing to recommend we know that what we are going to read is worthwhile.
GU deserve ten times the amount of exposure you give them. They are a real UK success story you should took pride in them more like you do hotel chocolat. If you ever need suggestions as to what of their's is good and bad please just ask.
The best cakes/biscuity things I've had recently are the chocolate flavoured snack-a-jacks.
I remember trying them years ago and thinking they were total vom, but now they are soooooo much better.
Is it bad that I've never had a chocolate macaroon before? I've only recently discovered I like coconut so i don't think it's that bad.
Typicall awesome reviews Jim. They may not be the highest scoring lot ever but there were a fair few hunger evoking piccies in this lot. That coconut star espec looks well nice.
I see you have managed to dig up further evidence that mcvities should just stick with the biscuits everyone knows them for and loves.
The best thing about these multi posts is that you get to see loads of yummo pictures. I love how that coconut thing looks.
It goes without saying that the brownie looks gorgeous.
Sorry but all cake bars are hieous. They are all just cheap tasting versions of the normal things they are. You wouldn't be able to name one cake bar that is better than what it is normally - all cadburys, jaffa cakes, mars etc .... all worse aren't they.
The only thing I wouldn't be keen on trying here is the coconut bake thing (hate coconut).
The other 3 I would try but now have high hopes for. Reading your review of temptation biscuits you do wonder why they've been made so small. Do you think it's something as stupid as keeping the calories down.
Now you have the weekly bits and bobs going the only thing left you need to sort out is your competition frequency. Follow through on your promise of 1 every 2 weeks and you are officially on a role :) By my reckoning that means we are due one this week hint hint ;)
The only defence the club cakes have are that they are cheap. In every other criteria I think the are just rubbish. Best off forgotton about aren't they really.
Don't talk to me about gu brownies. They sound great but they contain nuts so i can't have them. Some of the desserts they do like the chocolat pots are fab. If you ever want to extend your scope again jim you should do some reviews of them.
JULES - I will see what I can do but not promises. I buy products as and when I see them so write about them randomly ... thus I can't ensure that one is always going to hit the criteria as being worthy in your eyes.
ALICIA - Recommendation noted.
TINA - It's either that or costs I guess. McVitie's aren't usually ones to worry about nutritional contents that much.
TOM - GU should have been sending me some samples of some of their puddings but they never made it to me. I should try getting back in contact with them.
Thanks once more for the comments and feedback everyone. Tremendous discussion from you lot about these all.
JIM
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